New York Moment: LXXXI

(Starbucks. ISAAC is waiting in line to order. A YOUNG MAN rushes in and gets in line behind ISAAC.)

YOUNG MAN BEHIND ISAAC: (shouting to one of the many employees behind the counter) Do you have bagels?
EMPLOYEE: Yeah.
YOUNG MAN BEHIND ISAAC: What kind?
EMPLOYEE: Plain or raisin. What kind do you want?
YOUNG MAN BEHIND ISAAC: Plain.
EMPLOYEE: Toasted or not?
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: I’m sorry, is there a line?
EMPLOYEE: Huh?
CASHIER: Yeah, there’s a line.
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: Then why is she helping someone who’s behind me in line?
EMPLOYEE: Oops.
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: “Oops”?
EMPLOYEE: You haven’t ordered yet?
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: No, I haven’t.
YOUNG MAN BEHIND ISAAC: Can I get that not toasted?
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: Excuse me, sir, we get to order first.
YOUNG MAN BEHIND ISAAC: With cream cheese!
CASHIER: (to WOMAN) What can I get you?
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: My usual.
CASHIER: Got it, I know you. You want that iced?
YOUNG MAN BEHIND ISAAC: Can I get extra cream cheese?
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: Shut up! It is not your turn!

(EMPLOYEE hurries to prepare his bagel.)

YOUNG MAN BEHIND ISAAC: You shut up!
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: Can you please tell them to make the coffee …
YOUNG MAN BEHIND ISAAC: More cream cheese, please?
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: Can you please tell them to make the coffee over the ice, not in shot glasses?
YOUNG MAN BEHIND ISAAC: A couple more?
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: SHUT UP!
YOUNG MAN BEHIND ISAAC: YOU SHUT UP!

(EMPLOYEE hands the YOUNG MAN his bagel.)

EMPLOYEE: (to ISAAC) What can I get you?
ISAAC: Could I get a venti iced coffee?
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: Why are you helping him? Who says I was done ordering? Jesus Christ.
CASHIER: Ma’am, I’m helping you. You can order with me.
EMPLOYEE: (to WOMAN) What can I get you?
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: Nothing, I’m done, but it’s the principle. God, where’d you guys get trained?
EMPLOYEE: (calling out) I need a venti iced coffee!
YOUNG MAN BEHIND ISAAC: Could I get an iced water?
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: SHUT UP! HE IS ORDERING RIGHT NOW, NOT YOU! YOU WAIT!
YOUNG MAN BEHIND ISAAC: A big cup! Bigger than that!
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: God-fucking-dammit. I have a movie to get to and all I wanted was to get in and out of here.
EMPLOYEE: (to ISAAC) Sorry, it’ll just be a second.
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: Oh, thanks, don’t apologize to me.
ISAAC: It’s fine, I’m not in a rush.
WOMAN IN FRONT OF ISAAC: Well, whatever, then.
YOUNG MAN BEHIND ISAAC: Can I get more ice in that?

FIN.