He Who Laughs, Or The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Intimacy

New York Moment: LXXXIII

July 26, 2008 · 1 Comment

(Bourbon Street, a bar in midtown. Very early in the morning. ISAAC, RYAN, MELANIE and JEN are sitting and having a drink. A VERY DRUNK MAN comes and sits down with them.)

VERY DRUNK MAN: (raising his bottle of beer to them) Salut.

(They clink glasses with his bottle.)

MELANIE, JEN, RYAN, ISAAC: Salut.

(Beat.)

MELANIE: How’s it going?
VERY DRUNK MAN: (rubbing his eyes) I’m … I’m good.
JEN: What’s your story? Are you here alone?
VERY DRUNK MAN: I was here with my buddies.
ISAAC: Did they leave?
VERY DRUNK MAN: Yeah. I’m going to Boston tomorrow.
MELANIE: Early?
VERY DRUNK MAN: Yeah, really early. I got a ticket for the Amtrak or something. I’m going to the game. Yankees versus the Red Sox. I’ve never been to Fenway.
RYAN: It’s nice.
VERY DRUNK MAN: I’ve been to Wrigley.
RYAN: What’s your name?
VERY DRUNK MAN: [unintelligible] What’s your name?
RYAN: I’m Fred, (gestures to the others) this is Barney, this is Wilma, and this is Betty.

(Beat.)

VERY DRUNK MAN: Yabba dabba doo.

FIN.

Categories: New York Moments

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