New York Moment: LXXXIV

(The A train. ISAAC sits crammed in between a young couple who are vigorously making out and another couple who appear to be on the brink of following suit.)

MAN: What time you have to be at work?
WOMAN: 10:00.
MAN: Oh, you should’ve told me you had to run. We could’ve finished earlier.
WOMAN: It’s fine.
MAN: I would’ve gladly paid for a cab.
WOMAN: Nah, it’s OK.
MAN: I don’t mind paying for cabs. It’s nice.
WOMAN: Yeah, but I always think, that’s like $25 I could’ve spent on something else. I have to really force myself to take cabs sometimes.
MAN: See, I have to force myself to take the subway. I like the finer things in life.
WOMAN: I see.
MAN: Guess how much this suit cost?
WOMAN: I don’t know.
MAN: $3,000.
WOMAN: Nice.
MAN: Thanks.
WOMAN: It’s a good suit.
MAN: I was in a cab the other night and I wanted to see if this seafood restaurant on 125th Street was open so I told him to swing by and he said no. He said he had somewhere to be. I told him, motherfucker, let me out on 125th Street. Just let me out. I don’t give a fuck. Then he started saying, no, no, I’ll take you, don’t worry, I’ll take you, and I was like, too late motherfucker. I pay you to do what I say.
WOMAN: Right, he was disrespecting you.
MAN: So, are you going to give me your number?
WOMAN: Maybe.
MAN: Oh, come on.
WOMAN: I said maybe.
MAN: Here, tell it to me really fast. Then it’s like you never told me.
WOMAN: OK.

(She says her phone number quickly.)

MAN: Whoa, whoa, girl, slow down. Slow down. I didn’t mean that fast!
WOMAN: (giggling) You gotta keep up.
MAN: Oh, I’ll keep up.

(She says it again. He gets it all down.)

MAN: How old are you?
WOMAN: 32.
MAN: No.
WOMAN: What?
MAN: No way you are 32. You lyin’.
WOMAN: I’m not!
MAN: I’m gonna call up the Maury Povich show: “14 Year-Old Girl Posing As 32 Year-Old Woman!”
WOMAN: Awwww.
MAN: So when can I call you? When is he not home?
WOMAN: The mornings.
MAN: Like from when to when?
WOMAN: Like 8 to 9. And then in the evening from 6-9 or something.
MAN: OK, cool.

FIN.