I spent $65 on cab fare alone

I’ve just returned from Toys in Babeland, where Tallulah and I threw together an awesome wedding gift for our friends Theresa and Tim who are getting married this Sunday.

We giggled our way through the store, sticking our fingers in Fleshlights and slapping each other with $150 whips. The employees, I’m sure, were thrilled. We filled a gift box with lubes, a pocket rocket, edible massage oils, a reusable vibrating cock ring, a blindfold, a tickling feather, and a book of sex positions.

I also found a dildo version of the web programmer’s penis:

For $65, you get the majesty and the might without the crazy asshole attached.

I tried to take another picture with my hand on it, for scale, but my phone died, apparently unable to handle more than one shot.  I wrapped my hand around it and felt a pang of nostalgia in my throat.